RAAMAT LÄBI MÜÜDUD.
Tutvustav lõik kirjastuse Petrone Printi koduleheküljelt:
See on ühe Eesti loetavaima ja legendaarseima internetipäeviku – daki.tahvel.info – kildudest kokku pandud raamat, kus ühe sümboolse aasta jooksul saame osa ellu astuva – oma sõnutsi – bipolaarse ja maniakaaldepressiivse neiu melodramaatilisest elust.
Raamatus pole ranget ajalist liini: kokku on pandud erinevad kevaded, suved, sügised ja talved. Ka vorm on vaba: juhtunud seigad on kirjas vabavärsis luuletustena, mininäidenditena, anekdootidena, segamini on koomika ja traagika.
„SL Õhtulehe reporter Dagmar Reintam ehk Daki tuli minu ellu tänu sellele, et sattusin lugema tema netipäevikut.
Mäletan isegi esimest lauset, mis sealt tol esimesel korral mu pähe kleepus.
„Kui üksik hulkuv koer jookseb mööda tänavat, kas ta teab, kuhu ta jookseb?»
Millegipärast jäi see lihtne mõte minu sisse. Järgmisel päeval läksin tagasi. Lugesin, kuidas ta prügikasti põlema pani, kuidas ta vannis tampooniuputuse korraldas ja kuidas ta kass on tegelikult inimene. Ja seda, et ta veel 14aastaselt uskus päkapikke, aga 22aastaselt on tal olnud lugematu arv mehi ja ikka veel usk Sellesse Õigesse, kes kusagil vihmade taga peidus on.
„Aga millal sina viimati sillal jalgu kõlgutasid?» oli seekord lause, mis minusse kõlama jäi. Jah, millal?…
Mis temas on? Ma ei saa siiani sellest täpselt aru. Ja olen siiani tema maailmast lummatud.»
Epp Petrone, raamatu „daki.elab.siin» toimetaja
Katkendeid raamatust
Tegelased
Siki – Daki noorem (ja ainuke) õde. Ilus, enesekindel, äärmiselt suure südamega.
Birx – Daki parim sõbranna. See, kes Dakit jalgel ja mõistuse juures hoiab.
Ema, kasuisa, isa – Daki perekond, keda ta armastab nii, nagu nad on.
Tannu – Daki parim meessoost sõber (jah, sõber)
Rüblik – Daki endine klassivend, kellega ühel heal päeval, õigemini ööl…
Patsy – asendamatu mees, kui on vaja juua õlut, tantsida ja ajada totaalset jama.
Katre – sõbratar, kes on olnud Dakiga aegade algusest saadik. Bravuuritar.
Katz – endine klassiõde, Birxi ja Daki südametunnistus.
Piir, Lehis, Rain, Signe, Piu ehk Priit – Daki “gäng”. Armastavad stiilipidusid.
Maia, Andris, Evu, jri, Maali – blogisõbrad, teised digilapsed. Mõned neist on olnud erinevatel aegadel ka Daki korterinaabrid.
Härra – kraapivalt sügava jälje jätnud kunagine armastus.
Miuksu – must karvakera, täisnimega Pisike Beib-Mees Miu-Miu. Kasside soost.
Koerad – haukuvad, jooksvad, suured, omanikuga, omanikuta, tekitavad Dakis küsimusi.
Lehmkajakad – mutantselt suured Tallinna kajakad, Tartu omadest nelikorda kogukamad.
Rong – suur, rööbastel, nostalgiat ja vibratsiooni tekitav.
Tšikk – suvaliselt sisse astuv tegelane tänavalt, enamasti blond ja kontsadega.
Taksojuht – jutukas isend autoroolist, kellele Daki annab raha ja kes pajatab vastu lugusid.Vahel on ta Eriti Hull Taksojuht ega lase Dakit taksost välja, ka siis mitte, kui sõit lõppenud – jutud tuleb kõik ju ära rääkida.
***
ERIALA: SITAS SUUSATAMINE
Teate küll, mis on kassiliiv? Ja kuna kassid on loomu poolest elukutselised sittujad, siis tuleb selle liiva seest vahel nende junne ära visata. Need lendavad koos ülejäänud samalaadsete käkkidega vetsupotti. Aga paistab, et isegi paar kaasa pudenenud liivatükki võivad põhjustada minu äravoolusüsteemides katastroofi, muutudes saviks ja ummistades kõik augud.
Kujutate seda ikka ette?
Kuidas ma mässasin tunnikest-poolteist lihtsalt kättpidi vetsupotis. Sitas siis, eesti keeles otse öeldult. Kindad küll käes, aga nägu peaaegu potis. Ja paanika aina suurenes: pott oli savisegust vett täis, mis ei liikunud kusagile.
(jätkub raamatus)
TOOMAS JA ANDU
Meie tänavas elasid kunagi kaks poissi. Vanem oli umbes 13 ja noorem 8. Nimed olid Toomas ja Andu. Andul olid suured-suured silmad, hästi pikkade kaardus ripsmetega. Sellised vesihallid. Neil olid vist vanemad ka, joodikud. Ükskord nägin, kuidas ema neid meie maja ees peksis ja karjus nende peale. Andu ja Toomas. Ma üritasin neid aidata. Kutsusin paar korda sotsiaaltöötaja, andsin neile salaja külmikust hiivatud süüa. Andu klammerdus mu külge. Ootas hommikuti maja ees, kuni ma õue läksin ja temaga olin.
Vahepeal peksis Toomas Andut ka. Aga siis, kui ta mind nägi, jättis järele.
(jätkub raamatus)
„Äkki on tarvis veel kedagi matta, kui me juba auku kaevamas oleme?»
Taksojuht #1 (raadiosaatjas): „Kas kellelgi on labidat?»
Taksojuht #2 (autos): „Mille jaoks sul seda tarvis on?»
Taksojuht #1: „Õnnetu juhus, pean kliendi maha matma.»
(Eetris pikk vaikus.)
Kiisu: „42, paistab, et sa pead ilma labidata läbi ajama.»
(jätkub raamatus)
JA SEE POLE UNENÄGU!
Ma läksin uute jookide järgi. Trepi peal sain kokku ühe tuttavaga oma getoelu aegadest, kes tahtis mind kallistada, aga ma ei lubanud. Ta üritas mitu korda, aga ma lükkasin ta eemale. Siis ta lihtsalt lõi mind viis korda näkku ja lõugas midagi sellest, kuidas mittemingisugused eided ei tule talle ütlema, mida ta võib ja mida ei või teha. Ma hakkasin kartma, et ta peksab mu surnuks, jooksin trepist alla ja mõtlesin, kuhu põgeneda. Ta hakkas mind jälitama („Kuhu sa jooksed, raisk?! Ma pole sinuga veel lõpetanud!»).
Mu sõber M. seisis ukse juures ja hõikas midagi sellist, et ära muretse, kõik saab korda, sina ainult jookse. Põgene!
(jätkub raamatus)
TEEDE LÕPUTUD PAELAD
Ma ei mäleta, miks me tülitsesime. Või õigemini — ma tean. Sest meie tülid olid kogu aeg ühel teemal. Miks tema arvab, et meie lugu on muinasjutt ja kuidas minu jaoks see nii ei ole. Meie olime minu jaoks reaalsus. Päris elu. Ainus elu. Aga mina, mina olin tema jaoks olnud ainult muinasjutt, armuke, kelle juurde reaalsusest põgeneda. Ja nii me ei saanudki üksteisest aru.
Ma karjusin. Tema oli vait. Tema karjus, mina olin vait. Me magasime öö läbi, seljad teineteise poole. Ma kuulasin ta hingamist ja nutsin, sest teadsin, et ta ei hakka kunagi minust aru saama. Ja mina ei suuda kunagi oma kummitustest lahti lasta. Hommikul ta tõusis ja ainuke asi, mis tal mulle öelda oli: „Kui mind siia ei taheta, siis ma enam tagasi ei tule.»
„Ma ei jäta seda asja nii,» ütlesin ma vaikselt, ust tema järel kinni tõmmates. Ta kuulis seda küll.
(jätkub raamatus)
OI, AEGU AMMUSEID…
Ja nüüd teile üks juhtum, kus Daki tegutses jälle stiilis „Bridget Jones in action». Ehk siis meenutusi sarjast „Miks see alati minuga peab juhtuma?!».
Umbes poolteist aastat tagasi ootasin ma külla ühte noormeest. Pesin nõusid ja asju. Mõtlesin, et oh, tühjendan tuhatoosi ka ära, ilusam või nii. Lõpetasin suitsu, kõlas uksekell, valasin kähku tuhatoos prügikasti tühjaks ja jooksin fonolukku avama. Aga teel koridori avastasin, et torud olid läinud umbe ja kogu mu haisev solk oli tõusnud vanni. Kutt tuli üles, kupatasin ta kohe torustiku kallale, ise olin täielikus paanikas. Kiljusin ja hüppasin ringi, kuni ta torudega mässas. Siis läksin korraks kööki: oh üllatust! Kraanikausi alt prügikastist tõusis paksu suitsu. Kuum tuhk oli kõik süüdanud.
(jätkub raamatus)
HETK LIFTIS: AJALOOTUND PELDIKUTEST
Mees: „Tead, miks Versailles` lossi ümbruses on kuivanud puid ja põõsaid palju?»
Naine: „Ei tea. Miks siis?»
Mees: „Sest kuninganna külalised pidid põõsa taga sital käima kunagi. Ja siis nad pühkisid perset väikeste kivikestega, tõmbasid suurema jama ära. Aga tead, miuke on Neenetsi peldik?»
(jätkub raamatus)
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I love you to, but i then found out from a previous girl that he had slept with that they were senieg one another and he use to tell he loved her all the time. We were on holiday this summer and were both ill with a travellers diarrhea and we had antibiotics and when we came back he said he was still ill and he went to the doctors and had tests and they said he had a bacteria infection caused by food and when I said I will claim on the insurance or the hotels insurance he got very angry about it and said he had no doctors notes or proof coz he threw it all away and then he was like I don’t want you to claim and got in a mood. This same week he had 700 pounds taken out of his back account and I quizzed him coz I had this done to me in the past and I asked him what the bank had said. He said that they weren’t really doing much about it, even tho he had shown them proof he didn’t spend the money and he said he doesn’t think he will get it back! He said he travels around to different countries with work and when we first got together he said he might be going to china, but this never happen, then he said Siberia and this never happened. He Recently told me he was going to china with work for 3 weeks so when he was meant to be there I rang his company up and he was in England and when I said could I speak to Andrew ****** the project design manager, they said “what? Who are you after? “. Which seemed weird to me. I confronted him about the china thing and he said im going tonight the flight was cancelled they hadn’t got back to us about us going even tho he had told me the week before it was all finalised. Then later on in the conversation he told me he was going the following week, but he didn’t. He also said you have to write an invitation to be aloud to go into china from england on business is this true? We had arranged to go the cinema one night and he blew me off to go clubbing with his mates and gave me lots of excuses. One being he couldn’t go to the cinema with me on the thursday coz he had to work early in the morning on the Saturday, other wise people might lose there jobs and as I live 40 minutes away from him he would have to have left mine in the morning so wouldnt have managed to get to work. That morning I rang him and he was still in bed! I have since broken up with him because he cheated on me for a second time. He did it once before where he was sending flirty texts to a girl (texts sent over a few days) he use to see and he told her he was in Sweden with work and made up this complicated stuff he had to do over there for work, but he was in england with me. He was also arranging to meet up with her one weekend. I fogave him for this and he said he wasn’t a cheater he would never cheat and he wasn’t really going to meet up with her. His excuse for this was that he was mad from an argument we had had that day and he has never ever had an argument in his life not even with his parents or siblings. Then everything was ok until I found more flirty messages from another girl and he was flirting with her so I rang the number and she said they had been to the pub quiz together and had kissed and were texting all week. He admitted to this but said she had kissed her but she says its the other way around. Andrew also said he doesn’t fancy her he just did it.and she had just working at started working at that pub that week, but I know for a fact she started in may because I have since talked to the other bar staff there. I broke with him there and then, but after this I rang him to gets answers to why he did it and because stupidly I would have taken him back because I missed him so much (I am sooooo thankful tht this did not happen) He said he wasn’t senieg this girl and he hasn’t seen her or been to the pub with her because of his medison, then later he changed his story and said they went to the pub in a group. I found out from a friend of mine that knows this girl well, that they didn’t stop texting when we broke up and they went to the cinema not the pub. And she is now not having any of what I say because Andrew w(I missed the end off) This girl doesnt believe me he was cheating on me with her, because andrew told her we had broken up ages ago and has got his brother to lie for him. But she is young and very naive so is taken in by his lies as like me it was what I wanted to believe in even tho I always took it with a pinch of salt. I am concerned that he may have something wrong with him, to lie so much and I think he may believe his own lies. He also told me he loved me more than anything in the world, but I guess that was another one of his lies.Oh and he told me he didn’t like blondes and didn’t fancy small girls, and hates rock and emo music and people ,but the second girl he cheated on me with was small, 5ft3 and has blonde hair and a rocker/emo.Sorry for the essay lol!Could this gut have something wrong with him?Do you not think he could have something wrong with him tho like that compulsive lying thing?
What is the Best Way to get an Ex Back?She’s a great person, I had a lot of tihgns I had to work on. We’ve been apart for over 2 years and I always thought she was the ONE for me, and I would like one more chance. What should I do?
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